For the second time in two months there has been another death in my family. This comes at a time when I've barely begun recovering from my father's passing two months ago, and now I have to start my grieving process all over again.

This time I grieve for my sister-in-law, who was more of a big sister to me. She succumbed to her injuries following a fall, so her passing was sudden and unexpected. Just last month she attended my father's funeral, and now she's gone herself.

Twice I prayed for miracles for my father and my big sister during their time of need and twice I was denied my wishes to keep them both in my life a little longer. My father, I can understand, his health had steadily declined over the years and his body could no longer fight the illnesses that plagued him throughout his final years. But my big sister? She was healthy and her demise unexpected. Now that hurts.

I was browsing online for prayers of healing and found one that sounded assuring, although it mentions that not everyone gets healed through these prayers. It does ask for no hard feelings towards the Lord in case the healing doesn't take place. No hard feelings, that's a bit hard for me to do right now, considering I have lost two beloved family members who meant so much to me.

Every now and then I am reminded that God has a plan for everyone, even if it's not in perfect alignment with our best wishes. He decided it was time to call my father home, which I'm beginning to understand. But I have yet to understand why He summoned my big sister so soon. It wasn't her time yet. She was only in her 50's, which is still fairly young. They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, but I'm looking forward to having this explained. Maybe then my feelings won't be so hard.

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